How Do You Know??

Posted On September 30, 2008

Filed under Family

Comments Dropped 6 responses

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Dichotomy… my new favorite word. You’ll hear it if you’re around me long enough. If you don’t know what it means… look it up, I’m not going to give it to you today. I’m a homeschool mom so that’s you’re homework.

So the dichotomy going on in my head is should we have another baby??? This is such a personal question… why am I writing it on my blog?? Not real sure, but I have talked to so many friends about it, I just feel this blog is just another friend. You ask, why aren’t you discussing this with your hubby… well, we have discussed it in detail several hundred times and we still haven’t decided. One day we’re ready for another, the next we couldn’t fathom the thought of another child (probably boy) tearing through our home. Well, that’s the dichotomy. Part of the struggle too is we would love to have a girl. We would love another little guy, but if we had a girl in the mix already, we would probably be done.

Well, I have had the baby bug for quite sometime now. But am I really remembering the sleepless nights, costly baby items, doctor appointments, plus managing three other active, loud, messy boys?? Yesterday I thoroughly enjoyed doing laundry, cleaning the garage, mowing the grass and pulling weeds. I would miss my “freedom” I have now with older kids… even though some people wouldn’t say I have freedom as a homeschooler, but trust me, I do.

I think homeschooling helps you appreciate and enjoy the time you have with your children. I am not one of those moms who can’t wait for her kids to start back at school. I like being around them. Even though some days I’m ready to pull my hair out, I still enjoy the time we have together (another dichotomy). Our pastor has said many times, children spell love, t-i-m-e… and I believe that to be true.

So the question remains… should we or shouldn’t we??? Maybe God says we’re done. Who knows. But time will tell, and let me tell you, time is running out… I just turned 35 four days ago… I know my clock is slowing down. You know you’re old when a girl in the youth group ask how old you are, you tell her and her jaw drops and she is speechless… yikes, I know. I’m old.

So stay tuned… who knows what God has in store for us. Maybe it’ll just be more of the same. Until then, I’ll just hear the sound of the clock go, tick-tock.

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6 Responses to “How Do You Know??”

  1. stacy

    In my opinion if you are contemplating it that much than you are not done. Remember you could bypass the infant phase if you adopt, I wasn’t ready for that again either.

  2. kara

    i can relate…although in a different way!! the clock ticking? of course it is, i’m 34. but being newly married, we want to enjoy just the two of us. yet, we aren’t getting younger. do we want to be “old” parents? pit that against the fact that we don’t want to have a baby until WE’RE READY. we don’t want the outside factors choosing for us. the dichotomy for us? age vs. readiness.

  3. jenna

    Stacy, I know the adoption thing is still in our minds and hearts too… thus, dichotomy there too!

    Kara, would love to see a little Gibbs running around someday, especially with those blue eyes you and Brent have!! But I understand the time thing too… Brian and I so valued the time we had before kids. It is precious and you can’t get it back 🙂 Maybe you should just keep “practicing”.

  4. Tracy

    Hi Jenna! I write mainly because we are going through the EXACT same thing right now. We go back and forth, sometimes by the minute, and cannot seem to come to a definite decision. It literally occupies most of my thoughts. Every plan I make for the future, I think of how it would change if we decided to have another baby or not!! Yikes! This is so difficult! If you guys ever have some time we should get together!

    Tracy Geaslen

  5. Jamie

    Oh precious Jenna,

    Thank you for your posting. I will be praying for you and Brian as you sort through these questions and look for answers. I appreciate your honesty as you delve into this dichotomy.

  6. Claire

    I’m late coming into this, Jenna, but of course we have discussed this before! : ) I just want to add that if you do have another, you will truly be amazed at how different it is, since your other ones are so much older now, and will be so much more helpful. It REALLY makes a difference. And there is something about seeing older brothers with their baby siblings that is jsut so sweet and tender. So many opportunities to serve and see and practice what good fatherhood is like! I’ll be praying for wisdom for you and Brian. It is a big decision–but of course you’re really not in control of it anyways! : )

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